Love is __________. || Perspective

Love is complicated.

I think we grow up at a very young age with a very specific view on love and I feel as though society and the world around us has really influenced and affected the way that people of all ages choose to find and bring love into their lives. We grow up hearing about fairytales and watching movies of people coming together and finding this amazing, unique, and fulfilling love. In fact, we get so caught up with falling in love with their love that as time goes on, as we keep fantasizing over this kind of love, we get lost in this idea of love that has been placed in our minds. Or at least, that is what has happened for me.

You see, I have always been so in love with the idea of love. Ever since I can remember the idea of “falling in love” has always been so pleasing to me. Whether it may be seeing people I know find that special bond with others or watching actors and actresses in movies, it has always amazed me that two people can find one another and feel this profound connection. I think seeing that is what made this idea so magical, that two people can find one another and feel something so much greater than words can describe. From just a look or a simple touch people felt something so indescribable. It was beautiful.

And so coming to college and seeing the way that people choose to interact with one another has been such an interesting experience. From just these past couple of months, I have come to see how the world has tainted and changed this idea of love. It is as if the weight that this four letter word once carried has disappeared. A word that used to mean so much suddenly has no meaning at all. What used to be something so pure and magical has conformed into something that people deem as unrealistic or unreasonable and I think we have social media, stereotypes, and society to thank for that.

And so I wonder... What happened to love?

What happened to this idea that two people could find one another and just love each other for who they are and not what society wants them to be? What happened to love being something that finds you rather than you finding it? What happened to love between other relationships, not just significant others, being enough?

What happened to love?

I will always remember the first time I fell in love. In fact, I have talked about it on this blog before. Falling in love is one of the scariest things you could ever do. Why? Because loving someone and choosing to love someone is hard. It is scary. And I feel this is because giving up a part of yourself to others is such a difficult thing. But that is the thing about love, it is not meant to be easy. And it is never promised that when you are in love, everything will suddenly be okay. When you love, you are not signing up for endless days of happiness. You are signing up for hardship, for pain, for temptation. All the things that life throws at you, that is love. And that is what love is all about.

Someone once told me that “You can’t experience deep love without the risk of experiencing deep hurt” and when I first heard this I was so taken back on the truth that this statement holds. Because it is so true, when you choose to love you are giving the most vulnerable part of you away and allowing that person to fully see you in such a deeper and more intimate way. It is about learning how to give and receive trust from another person(s) and letting them know you for who you really are, flaws and all.

And recently, I have finally come across this. Like I said, these past few years have been dedicated to finding out who I am and the person that I want to be and along this journey I am happy to say that I have found someone that sees me for that person. I have found someone I can truly give part of myself to and know that they accept me for every part of who I am. They support me in my dreams and aspirations, my faith and what I believe in, and help push me to be the best version of myself. I know I can be 100% myself with them and I do not have to be afraid to hide my fears, doubts, or concerns with them. And for me, that is love. Knowing that at the end of the day, I can look to that person for guidance, support, and reassurance that through the good and the bad, I know they will be here to stay.

But like I said, love is complicated.

And society and the world around us helps us forget what love is all about. At times, society can get us so caught up with wanting something that the world deems is so necessary to be happy. And we forget to realize, that loving someone else is more than just a want or even a need. It is more than just a connection between two people. It is more than just a feeling.

And some people find love right away and are able to hold and maintain that love throughout their lives. Some people lose it and have trouble learning to let it back in. Some people go searching for it and sometimes never find it. And some people just so happen to be lucky enough to where love always comes to them. But regardless of whichever person you may be, if there is one thing to know about love is that love is not a need. It is not something you go looking for.

Love finds you and love is everywhere.

-- Unseen

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